Are we all like monks now? I asked a monastic and his answer surprised me.

I’ve been feeling a great sense of isolation during this time. But also the sense that I’m missing a great opportunity.

We’ve suddenly been given this gift of slowness and time. And I’m trying to figure out how to make the most of this. Admittedly, I’ve been finding myself wasting a lot of time by finding new and varied distractions.

So out of curiosity I posed a question to those I would consider experts in isolated living. Monastics. These are people who have willingly decided to live their life in a monastic setting. Turns out you can send an email to a monastery and get back some incredible insights.

I’m reminded that for centuries people have chosen a monastic way of living. An opportunity, either temporary or permanent, to escape the regular busyness of life, look inwards and perhaps form a larger connection to a greater sense of spirit. Perhaps there is something these monastics can teach us about how to best make use of this quarantine time.

I’ve never lived in a monastery myself. And I’m not sure I really want to. But I have found great value in silent mediation retreats held in these settings. They have been incredibly insightful and life-changing experiences for me. So maybe there’s more I can learn from those who live prolonged periods of seclusion.

For more information please visit: https://www.mdhealthyself.com/are-we-all-like-monks-now-i-asked-a-monastic-and-his-answer-surprised-me/

Doctors: It’s OK to Sometimes Suck

I’m here today to let you in on a little secret. It’s not something that I’m particularly proud of, and it’s work that I’m always trying to improve upon. But it’s true. And today you’re about to find out something I’m desperately trying to hide.

So here it is. Yes, I’m a doctor. And yes, I’d like to think that I’m pretty good at my job. But you know what? There are a lot of things that I really suck at.

Like really, really suck.

It turns out that achieving success in medicine doesn’t correlate with being good at other parts of my life.

I’m super messy. I lose things easily. Sometimes I eat terrible things and drink too much. I could be in better shape. My relationships aren’t as strong as I’d like them to be. At times, I say really stupid things.

And you know what?

I’ve learned to accept that while I can strive to improve, I may never fully get where I’d like to be.

And that’s OK.

We live in a culture of perfection. And it’s time to let that go. Because there is no perfect.

In medicine, we have learned to sacrifice and achieve and strive for difficult goals. A lot of us think that because we have the tools to succeed in medicine that we should naturally succeed in all other areas of our lives. If you’re like me, you have no problem bearing down and working through challenges. All you need is to work just that little bit harder, right?

But you can’t do everything or be everything that you want to be. That’s OK.

I’m here to say that it’s OK to suck, and it’s OK to screw up.

I think we as a group really struggle with failure, but I think it’s time that we start to embrace that we’re just as flawed as everyone else. I mean, if you think of a normal distribution curve … well, you’re really unlikely to be above average on every attribute that makes you human.

For more information please visit:  
https://www.kevinmd.com/blog/2020/03/doctors-its-ok-to-sometimes-suck.html

Is Flow the Secret to Happiness?

Have you ever been so absorbed in a task that time just seemed to fly by? You were so immersed that it was just you and the moment and everything else ceased to exist.

It’s called being in “the zone”, or flow. A state that has been described many times by athletes, artists, and yes….even doctors. It’s often described as the state of optimal experience. We are often our happiest, when we are in flow.

What exactly is flow?

Flow is a term coined by the researcher Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi (Chick-sen-mee-high). It’s a state where the degree of skill and the degree of challenge match up in this magic sweet spot. We are concentrating hard and feel challenged, but have enough skill and experience to be able to perform successfully.

This is often represented by the following graph.

On the x-axis is the degree of skill we might possess at a task. It’s important to note that one’s skill level at a task can increase with training. In the medical field, you can think of a medical student as someone that possesses a low skill on a task, say suturing, and perhaps and experienced surgeon as a highly skilled person.

On the y-axis is the degree of challenge that a task requires. Something really easy results in a low challenge level and something more difficult, a higher challenge.

For more information please visit: 
https://www.mdhealthyself.com/is-flow-the-secret-to-happiness

How Hedonic Adaptation Affects Your Happiness and What to Do About It

I can admit that I easily fall into the category of a Type A personality. And, so do most of my colleagues. We are ambitious people by nature. We’re constantly looking at the next thing, the next goal.

In many respects, I think that’s great. It’s great to be motivated. But this can lead to problems if we’re motivated for the wrong reasons. Chasing after things that aren’t giving us what we really want.

Why do I see many of us caught in the pursuit of more? I think that many of us falsely get caught in the belief that once we attain that “more”, be it a new job, a nicer car, or a higher salary that we will be happier and better off than we were before. But is this true?

Often times, it simply isn’t. And that’s because of what is termed hedonic adaptation. Its described as: “the observed tendency of humans to quickly return to a relatively stable level of happiness despite major positive or negative events or life changes” (Wikipedia).

A set point
 

 

The basic idea is that we as people have a happiness “set point” and that good things that happen to us can increase that happiness temporarily, but over the long term, we end up right back where we were beforehand.

A lot of the things we pursue in order to find happiness – more money, the perfect partner, a bigger house, a better body – don’t actually make us any happier in the long term.

For more information please visit: https://www.mdhealthyself.com/how-hedonic-adaptation-affects-your-happiness-and-what-to-do-about-it

What The ER has Taught Me About Life

The emergency room is an interesting place to work. It’s controlled chaos. Walk through the hallways and you’ll hear people screaming, see others crying, and others wincing in pain.

Certainly, my views have broadened and I’ve learnt a few lessons along the way.

So, with that, here are a few things I’ve learned.

1. Life is short

The big one. I’m sure we’ve all contemplated this before, but when you work in the ER, you’re reminded of this constantly. Everything can be going along smoothly when all of a sudden that passing car comes and it’s game over. Or you wake up one morning and that aneursym ruptures, or that MI suddenly drops you down. I’ve seen that far too often.

 2. Don’t put things off.

Things can be going along smoothly for us when all of a sudden an injury or illness comes along and changes everything.

Sometimes I think I should buckle down now and pick up those extra shifts. Work hard and save and sacrifice for a better tomorrow. This is certainly the culture that I was brought up with. But I’m constantly reminded that the future is never guaranteed.

3. Kindness matters

Receiving an act of kindness is amazing. When you’re working late at night, dealing with difficult people when you’d rather be at home, or in bed, someone giving you a genuine “thank you” can truly make the difference in your shift. Think about how good it feels to be appreciated for what you do.



It’s important to have that perspective. What we often think matters to us now, in the end, won’t be important at all.

For more information please visit: https://www.mdhealthyself.com/what-the-er-has-taught-me-about-life

Why You Need to Step Out of Your Comfort Zone

What’s keeping you from living the life you want?

When you look down deep is there something holding you back? Keeping you from taking risks and breaking through barriers? Is there a resistance? A feeling deep down inside that you can’t shake? What is it? Is it fear? Shame? Doubt? Guilt?

You’re not alone. I certainly have my share of “blockages.”

These are areas in my life where I often meet up with an anxiety around change. It comes up frequently in new personal relationships, and new social situations, for instance. There are times when I hold myself back from taking risks for fear of failure or embarrassment.

Yet in other areas in my life, I thrive in uncertainty.

I’m an ER doctor. My job entails being prepared for the unknown. Literally anything can come through the door and I’m expected to react skillfully in these situations.

And you know what? I’m able to manage the majority of these situations without feeling a great deal of stress or anxiety. Calm in the midst of chaos. No problem. I’ve got crazy some stories too…..believe me. Often times, people ask me how I’m able to remain so composed in the face of what appears to be a very stressful situation.

The answer is easy. 

It wasn’t always that way at work. I remember being early in my training and incredibly hesitant to step into acute care situations. I found them terrifying.

What if I make a mistake? Maybe I don’t know what I’m doing? Could I hurt someone?

However, through training and repeated exposure to that discomfort it dissolved and faded away. Slowly. And that’s the same experience of my colleagues.

For more information please visit: https://www.mdhealthyself.com/why-you-need-to-step-out-of-your-comfort-zone

The Importance of Celebrating Yourself

Happy new year everyone.

As we enter a new year and a new decade, I’ve been taking time to reflect on the last year and the last decade. It seems as if I’m at that point where I can think in decades now. When did that happen?

Perhaps, if you’re like me, you can be hard on yourself sometimes. At times, my mind tends to focus on the things I haven’t done, or want to still do. Do you do the same? Naturally, I tend to overlook and forget about all of the amazing things that have happened over the last year and last decade.

It’s a mistake.

Problematic, in fact. Focussing on the future instead of honouring your present is a quick road to misery. It’s often said that desire is the cause of suffering. In that same vain, constantly looking ahead without taking in your present keeps you from appreciating all you already have.

Ten years is a long time and a lot has happened. When I allow myself to think about it, it’s been a pretty amazing last decade.

I was a resident ten years ago at this time. I had no idea where I’d be today. Now I’m a long experienced staff with the grey hairs (and no hairs) to show for it. I’ve been all around the world and fulfilled a life dream to make international work a part of my life. Lived in some great cities (London, Calgary, Toronto) and worked in some amazing contexts (Yemen, South Sudan, Ethiopia). I’ve loved, I’ve laughed, I’ve lost, I’ve learned. I’ve grown up in so many ways.

But despite all of that my mind tends to focus ahead. On what I’m missing and what’s next.

I understand that and I’d like to consciously change it. I’m usually not a big fan of resolutions, but this year I did resolve a couple of things. Last year was very goal based and I set myself a whole bunch of personal and professional goals. Some I accomplished (I started a blog experiment!), and some I didn’t, and that’s okay. I certainly figured a few things out a lot along the way.

Upon reflection, I realized that I’ve been too outcome driven. It’s good to have goals, but I can be a bit too strive-y and can focus too much on what I want to achieve instead of the process.

For more information please visit: 
https://www.mdhealthyself.com/the-importance-of-celebrating-yourself

What You Can Learn from The Happiest Man in Bermuda

In 2012, I went to visit a friend who was doing a six-month locum on the island of Bermuda. Now, doing a locum on a tropical island during a Canadian winter is probably it’s own recipe for happiness. But to my surprise, I discovered something else in Bermuda that has inspired me ever since.

While asking my friend for things to see, one of the first suggestions was to try and see Johnny Barnes.

“Who?” I asked.

“You’ll understand when you see him…trust me”, I was told.

He was described to me as an elderly man who wakes up every morning to stand at a roundabout to wave at the passing cars to tell them “I love you” and to “have a great day”. And he’d been doing it every day for years!

It was this little, beautiful, joyful thing for all involved. I had to admit, it instantly elevated my mood and put a smile on my face. Years later, it’s still one of the most memorable things from my trip.

So I had to read a little bit more about Johnny. Apparently he spent six hours a day, for thirty years standing at this roundabout, for free, in order to brighten people’s day. And the act impacted him as well. He was known as “Mr. Happy Man”, and was considered one of the happiest people on the island.

The man was also beloved on the island of Bermuda. So much so, that a statue was erected in his honour.

Thinking about Johnny a little deeper. There’s a lot that Johnny was doing that each of us can implement to affect our own happiness. Without having to stand on a roundabout.

For more information please visit: https://www.mdhealthyself.com/lessons-from-the-happiest-man-in-bermuda

How Physicians Can Become Self-actualized

What really makes a person complete?

What do we want in our lives, and what is it like to become our best, most fulfilled selves?

In the 1960s, psychologist Abraham Maslow tried to answer this question. This eventually led to his well-known hierarchy of needs. You might be familiar with the pyramid.

 The premise of the theory is that once we fulfill our basic needs (food, water, shelter) and our core emotional needs (love, acceptance, self-esteem), then we can begin to work on the peak of the period.

Self-actualization — trying to become our best selves.

Maslow didn’t truly believe that we progressed in a stepwise fashion. Having to accomplish one level of the pyramid before progressing to another. It’s more a matter of degrees. In other words, one person might have 70 percent of their love needs met, and 80 percent of their safety needs, but still might be 20 percent self-actualized. The more one has met their lower needs, the more attention can be given to higher ones. But it might never be perfect.

So what does it actually mean to be self-actualized?

Well, according to Maslow, self-actualized people are real. They exist in everyday life. As you read this, consider if you know some people who are self-actualized. Often, they exhibit many of the following qualities.

It’s less complicated than you think.

For more information please visit: 
https://www.kevinmd.com/blog/2019/12/how-physicians-can-become-self-actualized.html

Do Traumatic Events at Work Impact Our Psychological Well-Being?

                

                           “Could you tell me about a time when an event at work has continued to play on you mind after the shift is over?”

We’ve all got a story or two.

It happens to most of us at some point. Sometimes your work follows you home. A mentor once said that if it hasn’t happened to you in the emergency room, then you simply haven’t worked long enough.

I’ll share a story of mine. Nearing the end of a long night shift. A man in his 50’s, healthy, complaining of chest “burning” that he fully attributed to “heartburn”. This was my first year in practice and a busy night in the ER.

His wife had made him come in and he was seen a week before for the same symptoms. He looked comfortable, had a normal ECG, normal labs and a cardiology appointment in a day and a half. He really wanted to leave. There was a feeling that I should speak to someone about him, a nagging voice, but it was 5 am, I assumed that my colleagues wouldn’t want to see him. Should I call them at 5 am for this? In the end, I sent him home.

I went home shortly after, and when I woke up. I got an email from a colleague.

“Hey man, that guy you sent home came back a couple hours later and had a cardiac arrest in the waiting room. We got him back and he went to the cath lab. Just thought you should know.”

Everything stopped.

It was once of the worst feelings I’ve ever had. An instant “oh my god!” moment.

I dropped everything. Drove straight to the hospital. Made sure the patient was still alive with my own eyes. Apologized profusely. Berated myself endlessly.

And I didn’t sleep properly for the next month. Playing the case over and over in my mind.

For more information please visit:  
https://www.mdhealthyself.com/do-traumatic-events-at-work-impact-our-psychological-well-being

A Regular Dose of Nature as Medicine

I’m currently sitting out by a lake. In a little cabin tucked away in the mountains of Vermont. My own little personal retreat. In the background, the sun is setting over the hills and the sky is a warm hue of orange. As I gaze at the scene behind me I am overtaken with a sense of awe and ease. I feel quiet, calm and rested sitting out here in nature, just being with myself for a little while. It’s quite a reprieve from the chaos of an emergency room.

I feel deeply connected to the natural world. Why do many of us feel such a strong connection when we’re in this space? Well, although this is an opinion, I really think that there is an actual connection. From an evolutionary standpoint we are all connected in some way. Over the millennia, we have grown biologically distinct, but perhaps there is still some sort of deep connectivity there. These trees over here, well on some level, are my relatives. (I know how crazy that sounds)

At least, that’s what it feels like. It’s like the same feeling I have when I’m see members of my family that I haven’t seen in a long while. There’s some sort of feeling deep down inside. Of gratitude, happiness, and peacefulness borne of connection and it feels to me like a real thing.

What is “connection” anyway? It is anything more than a feeling or a mental state? A deep visceral feeling that comes up when I’m around certain things that seems to have importance to me. Does that come from the electrical impulses of a few neurons, an intellectual understanding, or from something beyond? No one really knows. But it certainly is heartening to think of us as deep interconnected beings just living our lives in this world together. Certainly makes walking in the park a heck of a lot more fun!

For more information please visit: 
https://www.mdhealthyself.com/why-trees-make-you-happier

Are You Self-Actualized?

What really makes a person complete?

What do we want in our lives and what is it like to become our best, most fulfilled selves?

In the 1960’s, psychologist Abraham Maslow tried to answer this question. This eventually led to his well-known hierarchy of needs. You might be familiar with the pyramid.

The premise of the theory is that once we fulfill our basic needs (food, water, shelter) and then our core emotional needs (love, acceptance, self-esteem), then we can begin to work on the peak of the period. Self-actualization. Trying to become our best selves.

Maslow didn’t truly believe that we progressed in a step-wise fashion. Having to accomplish one level of the pyramid before progressing to another. It’s more a matter of degrees. In other words, one person might have 70 percent of their love needs met and 80 percent of their safety needs, but still might be 20 percent self actualized. The more one has met their lower needs, the more attention can be given to higher ones. But it might never be perfect.

For more information please visit: https://www.mdhealthyself.com/are-you-self-actualizing

What actually makes you happier – experiences or things?

Maybe that sports car in your driveway isn’t making you as happy as you think…

In the medical world, we are often fortunate to be on the higher end of the income-earning spectrum. Yet, I think it’s safe to say that we certainly aren’t on the higher end of the happiness spectrum.

We live in a materialistic culture. A quick look around the physician parking lot in my hospital will reveal a lot of Porches, Benz’s, and Beemers. Most of my colleagues live in million-dollar houses (although that isn’t saying much in Toronto), and live expensive lifestyles. At the surface, there’s nothing wrong with that.

But where should I put my priorities? I mean, I need things. I wouldn’t mind a better car or a bigger house. But if I’m concerned with what makes me happier, then how should I allocate my precious income and time?

Dr. Thomas Gilovich, a researcher at Cornell, has spent much of his career trying to answer this question. Experiences or things?

His research suggests that people derive more satisfaction from experiential purchases over material ones.

Here are some reasons why Dr. Gilovich thinks it’s better to spend on experiences.

For more information please visit: https://www.mdhealthyself.com/what-actually-makes-you-happier-doing-things-or-having-things/